The New Girl
(The episode begins with Mordecai and Rigby playing video games) Rigby: I'm so gonna kick your butt at this game! Mordecai: Pff, yeah right. You will never beat me at Ally Fight Dudes. Benson: (On walkie-talkie) Mordecai, Rigby! (Mordecai gets startled and screams and the screen says "Game Over! Fists wins!") Rigby: OOOHHH! In your face! Mordecai: Shut up. (To walkie-talkie) Uh hey Benson, what's up? Benson: (On walkie-talkie) I need you guys to go outside. I have an announcement. Mordecai: (To walkie-talkie) OK, we'll be right there. (To Rigby) Come on, let's go. Rigby: Aw what? I just started a new match! Gah, fine. (They walk outside and sit on the stairs along with Skips, Pops, Muscle Man, and Hi-Five Ghost) Benson: So listen up. I was looking over some paperwork and I realized that we need more help since a certain group of people have been slacking off a lot. Rigby: Muscle Man and Fives. Muscle Man: He's talking about you and Mordecai, doofus. Benson: And so I thought I would hire a new groundskeeper. But they aren't here yet. Rigby: I hope it's a guy who loves coffee cause if so, that would be awesome. Benson: Ah, there they are. (A motorcycle is heard and a person wearing a black biker outfit with a black helmet; they stop a few feet away from Benson; they take off the helmet and it's revealed that it's a girl with brown hair that is wavy and part of it goes over her face, wears red lipstick, and is wearing hoops and walks up to the guys; she looks around Benson's height) Benson: Guys, this is Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn, this is Pops, Skips, Muscle Man, Hi-Five Ghost, Mordecai, and Rigby. Kaitlyn: Hi guys, nice to meet you all. (Rigby walks up to Kaitlyn) Rigby: Are you married or have a boyfriend? Kaitlyn: Uh, no and I prefer not dating a whiny raccoon. Rigby: Aw what? I'm not whiny! Mordecai: Yes you are dude. Rigby: Stop talking! Benson: Rigby, go back to the stairs. Rigby: Fine. (Rigby walks to the stairs) Benson: So the jobs of the day: Skips, you will clean and re-paint the fountain. Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost, you will have Snack Bar duty. Mordecai, Rigby, and Kaitlyn, you three will rake leaves. (To Kaitlyn) I need to warn you, Mordecai and Rigby are known for slacking but I don't want you slacking off too. Kaitlyn: Don't worry, I won't. I'm just gonna put my jacket and helmet inside. (She walks to the house and comes out; She has on a pink shirt with a skull shaped necklace) Kaitlyn: Ok, let's go. Rigby: Whoa, she's even hotter than Eileen. Mordecai: What? Rigby: Oh, nothing, nothing. (Scene goes to them raking) Mordecai: So, is this your first job? Kaitlyn: No. I've had a ton of other jobs but for some reason, I keep getting fired. Rigby: Do you know why? Kaitlyn: No. But this job seems easy. Mordecai: It isn't sometimes. We always have something go wrong every day. Kaitlyn: What do you mean? Rigby: Well, one time we had to fight off this demon slash humanoid named Susan. Kaitlyn: Susan? Rigby: Yeah. Kaitlyn: Did she have blonde hair that was up, wore pearl earrings and wore a suit? Mordecai: Yeah how do you know? Kaitlyn: I've seen her before. Mordecai: Oh. Rigby: Well, I'm taking a break and going to play video games, are you two coming? Mordecai: Sure. Kaitlyn? Kaitlyn: '''No, we have to work. '''Rigby: Yeah, only when Benson is around though. Kaitlyn: Uh no. Even when Benson isn't around, we still have to work. Rigby: Ugh, you sound JUST like Benson. Kaitlyn: Well I'm not the one who slacks off 24/7 and doesn't care about getting fired. Mordecai: What? We do care about our jobs. Kaitlyn: Oh yeah. Then how come you slack off? Mordecai: We need to take breaks. Kaitlyn: You take a break AFTER jobs, not DURING them. Mordecai: Uh, I'm gonna go to the house. (Mordecai leaves) Rigby: Seriously, you act just like Benson. Being mean, bossy, a jerk- Kaitlyn: Did you just call me a JERK? Rigby: Read my lips: jerk! (Kaitlyn gets mad and shoves Rigby against a tree) Kaitlyn: DON'T YOU DARE EVER CALL ME A JERK! I WORKED HARD ALL MY LIFE AND PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS CALLED ME A JERK! IF YOU CALL ME A JERK ONE MORE TIME, THEN YOU'RE GONNA PAY! GOT IT?! Rigby: (Shaking) Yes. Kaitlyn: Good. And by the way, Mordecai called you a jerk behind your back. (Kaitlyn drops Rigby and he runs away and catches up to Mordecai) Mordecai: Dude, there you are. What happened? Rigby: Oh nothing. But she told me "I'm gonna pay" and something else that is very interesting. Mordecai: What did she tell you? Rigby: You should know. (Mordecai looks confused and Kaitlyn catches up to Mordecai) Kaitlyn: Mordecai, may I have a word with you? Mordecai: Uh sure. (They walk to the front of the house garage while Rigby goes inside) Mordecai: So what's up? Kaitlyn: I hate that excuse of a raccoon. Mordecai: You mean Rigby? Kaitlyn: Yeah. Mordecai: Sure he can be a little annoying but you get used to it. Kaitlyn: Well I still don't like him. Mordecai: Whatever. Kaitlyn: You know, by the way..... (Goes up to Mordecai's ear and whispers) Kaitlyn: Rigby called you a sissy boy. (Kaitlyn walks into the house and Mordecai has a confused look on his face; Mordecai goes into the kitchen where Rigby is drinking a soda) Mordecai: Dude, Kaitlyn just told me something that was very interesting. Rigby: What was it? Mordecai: Well you should know. (Mordecai walks away and Rigby has a confused look on his face; Scene goes to Kaitlyn walking up to Muscle Man who looks bored at the snack bar) Kaitlyn: Hey Muscle Man. Muscle Man: Hey bro. I thought you were with the two losers. Kaitlyn: I was but I got tired of those guys. So I wanted to be with you and Hi Fives. Speaking of which, where is he? Muscle Man: Bathroom. Well since you're with me and Fives, there's one rule and one rule only, don't eat the food. Kaitlyn: Eat the food? Ok. (Shoves Muscle Man away from the donuts and stuffs them all into her mouth and she swallows) Muscle Man: Bro! I said DON'T eat the food! Kaitlyn: Oh, whoops. Well I'm full and I'm bored of you so I'm going somewhere else. Oh, and also Muscle Man, Hi Five Ghost said that you're the worst pranker ever. (Kaitlyn walks away and Muscle Man looks mad and confused; Scene goes to Kaitlyn walking to Hi Five Ghost who is on his way back to the Snack Bar) Kaitlyn: Hey Fives. Hi Five Ghost: Hey Kaitlyn. I thought you were with- Kaitlyn: Mordecai and Rigby? I ditched them. Hi Five Ghost: Oh. Well, what are you doing now? Kaitlyn: I don't know but you should watch out for Muscle Man. Hi Five Ghost: Why? He's my best friend. Kaitlyn: Well, guess he isn't since he told me that he thinks you're a nobody. (Kaitlyn walks away and Hi Fives looks confused and a bit sad; Scene goes to Pops who is at the fountain laughing at his reflection and Kaitlyn's reflection can be seen next to his) Pops: Hello Kaitlyn! Kaitlyn: Hey Pops. I thought Skips was fixing the fountain. Pops: Oh he was but he forgot a mallet. Kaitlyn: Well you shouldn't trust him. Pops: Whatever do you mean? Kaitlyn: Well, I hate to let the cat out of the bag but, he thinks that you're an airhead. Pops: Airhead? Kaitlyn: Well, I gotta go, see ya later. (Pops looks sad and Kaitlyn walks away and at one point walks into Skips) Skips: Oh hey Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn: Hey Skips. Heading back to the fountain? Skips: Yep. Turns out a pipe needs to be fixed and I need to fill in the cracks in it. Kaitlyn: Oh, well Pops told me something interesting about you. Skips: What did he say? Kaitlyn: He told me that you look like a little girl when you skip and that you sound like you gargle nails. (Kaitlyn walks away and Skips looks mad; Scene then goes to Benson working in his office and Kaitlyn walks in) Benson: Kaitlyn! How's your first day here? Kaitlyn: Good, good. But the guys have been saying some things that I don't like. Benson: Like what? Kaitlyn: Well they all say that you're a jerk and you're the worst boss ever. Benson: Oh really? Kaitlyn: Yep. Sad isn't it? Benson: I'm having a word with them. (Benson walks out and Kaitlyn is seen smiling evilly; Scene goes to the living room and the guys are looking at each other angrily and Benson comes in the room) Benson: So you guys think I'm a jerk and the worst boss ever? Everyone else: What? Benson: I was told that you were calling me that behind my back. Mordecai: I don't know what you're talking about but I know a certain raccoon has also been talking about me behind my back. Like how I'm a sissy boy appearantly. Rigby: Oh, like how a certain blue jay is calling me a jerk too. Mordecai: What? I have never called you a jerk! And I'm not a sissy boy! Muscle Man: And how a certain ghost is calling me the worst pranker ever. Hi Five Ghost: And how a certain green person is calling me a nobody. Muscle Man: What? Dude, I've never called you a nobody! And I'm not the worst pranker! Pops: And how a certain yeti is calling me an idiot, when I am not one. Skips: Excuse me? And how a certain lollipop is calling me a little girl when I skip and I sound like I'm gargling nails! Pops: What? I have never said that about you! (They then start to fight each other) Benson: WAIT! (The guys stop fighting) Benson: Who told you these lies? All of them: Kaitlyn. (They look at each other then get mad) All of them: KAITLYN! (They run outside where Kaitlyn is about to leave on her motorcycle) Benson: Kaitlyn! Kaitlyn: Oh hey, I was just about to leave. Benson: Well. you're leaving for good. Kaitlyn: What? Benson: Why did you tell lies so we can fight with each other? Kaitlyn: I have no idea what you're talking about. Benson: Don't play dumb with me. Now I want you to leave and never come back because you're FIRED! Kaitlyn: Fired?! Benson: You heard me! Now go! Kaitlyn: NO! Benson: No? Kaitlyn: I'm not leaving until I get my revenge! All of them: Revenge? Kaitlyn: Remember Susan? Well guess what? I'm her sister! (She turns into a giant red demon and roars) Kaitlyn: (In a loud voice) Because of you, my sister is dead! Mordecai: Well she almost took over the park and us! Kaitlyn: But now I'm gonna finish what she could of finished! (Kaitlyn raises her foot and stomps the ground trying to step on the guys but the guys dodge it; she thens destroys the house and the golf cart) Rigby: What are we gonna do? Benson: I don't know! Do you see a limo anywhere? Mordecai: Wait, Skips. Don't you have rope with you? Skips: Yeah, why? Mordecai: Maybe we should use the rope to tie off her feet and then when she falls, we'll tie her hands up. Muscle Man: Whoa, for being a loser, that's a good idea. (Mordeca grabs the rope, screams, and runs around her feet and tightens the rope; Kaitlyn screams and falls onto the ground and the rest of the guys tie rope around her wrists; Kaitlyn struggles but she can't break the rope and she shrinks back to her normal self) Benson: I'm gonna go call the police. (Scene goes to a bunch of police cars in front of the house and 2 cops are seen walking Kaitlyn, who is in a straight jacket ,into a police car) Kaitlyn: I will get my revenge someday! Don't be so snug now, I will return! Police Officer: Alright that's enough. (They put her into the car and they drive away) Rigby: Man, she was more annoying than Benson. (Benson gives him a look) Rigby: I mean I'll go get back to work! (Runs away) Mordecai: Benson, next time you hire someone, make sure they aren't evil. ''THE END!'' Category:Episode